Intro
There are two ways to feel fab:
1. you feel fab when you are feeling fab, or
2. you feel fab when the world feels like it is feeling fab.
I prefer 1. I’d rather be feeling fab when I am feeling fab than I would prefer the world to be feeling like it is feeling like it is.
In other words, if we modulate our focus to put ourselves in a state of mind which we think will lead us to be more effective and successful, then that might actually help us reach our goals and achieve our objectives, because we are in a state of mind in which we can really make some progress. We can’t do that if we are not in a state where we feel like there is some possibility of getting somewhere and achieving something significant.
Moreover, this doesn’t mean that people who have traditionally been very focused on the external world and on the things happening around them need to lose their focus and their “personal”-ness—in other words, they don’t need to turn into robots or become machines—it just means that they should slow down a bit so that they don’t do things too fast for them. Sometimes it pays off to get out of your comfort zone for a bit and try something new—most of the time though, it pays off simply because doing so gives you a chance to learn something new about yourself and about your environment (and this leads naturally into another topic).
I feel so good because
I have spent a lot of time over the past several months reading, thinking and researching on this topic. I’ve gone through a number of frameworks to try to figure out what makes someone feel “fame”, and I have come up with a set of principles that seem to work for me.
I’d like to share them with you here:
It’s like when you get up in the morning and you feel refreshed, well rested at least. As we get older we get less likely to feel this way, but for some reason it is still there for many people. You might not be able to put your finger on exactly what it is about waking up feeling good every morning, but I think it’s important that we recognize that feeling good at least once a day is probably where most people want to be at any given time of day.
The key take home from this post isn’t just that feeling good is important; it’s more that feeling good isn’t always enough (and certainly not the best way). It also gives us an idea of what factors are worth focusing on: what things do people value most? What makes them happy? If they don’t have access to those things, they aren’t going to feel happy!
My life is awesome because
Whether it’s the “I’m feeling fab today,” the “I’m feeling fab because I just bought a new laptop,” or even the “I’m feeling fab because I went to a concert last night,” you know how it goes.
You start your life in a flurry of activity and excitement, and then you realize: I have no idea what I should do today. What should my next step be? How do other people do this? Should I do it alone? What if there are more than one option? How can I get all of this done in one day?
Then you come to your senses and realize that none of these things are going to help me get from where I am now to where I want to be. This is not an easy or simple thing to do. It requires constant refinement and rethinking on all fronts.
I say this as someone who has been doing it for 15 years or so and has seen many people fall into a stasis-like mental state for months on end trying not to be too specific about their goals because they don’t want their actions to interfere with those goals; but that’s not human nature. It is something we can all learn from if we will just stop playing it safe and take action where needed (which isn’t always what we think).
The first step is always the hardest, but there’s really no right way around it: figure out what you want and then get off your butt and do something about getting there — even if that means being inconsistent — until that goal becomes clear enough that it becomes easier than staying focused on what isn’t happening / happening right now (or in more extreme cases having absolutely no desire at all).
My life is awesome because
This is probably the most important post on our blog, and it’s totally important to us. So, before proceeding let me explain why this is so.
When we started in 2011, we were a small company with two founders and a coder who had been working at one of the large venture capital firms in Silicon Valley for years. We were basically on our own trying to build something new and exciting.
We were doing pretty well at that time, but we didn’t know what was next. And while we knew what we wanted to do (make cool stuff), when you are starting out, it’s hard to know exactly what you can do and what you need to do it.
So yeah, I guess I did feel fab back then! But as time went on and as we built things up, over time I have come to see that feeling fab for me has shifted from being about building a product with the purpose of having fun (although the people who can join-in along the way are always welcome) or having a big impact (which is cool if your product does). Instead it’s become about feeling like a bunch of awesome people are on my side — that we have incredible power together. And when things are going well, that feeling is powerful enough to make all the hard work worth it (even if there isn’t an immediate payoff). And when things aren’t going well? Well…my feelings get hurt!
I guess there are some people out there who would say I am being self-indulgent here – but I don’t think so actually – because the more I look at this situation the more I think this is true for everyone: everybody likes their life great when they feel like their lives are great; everybody wants their life great when they feel like their lives are great; everybody wants their life great because they feel like their lives are great. So yeah…I am feeling fab about my life now!
My life is even more awesome because
Fabulous? Yes. Awesome? No.
All of the other words in this sentence are referring to the same thing. I’m not a huge fan of the word “awesome”, but I can see how it can be an effective way of describing a feeling: you know what it is when you get it, and you know what it isn’t when you don’t get it. That isn’t quite the same as saying “I want to feel fab”, but if you use that kind of language in the context of product development then I think people will understand what you mean when they hear “I want to feel fab”.
Another part of this is to get over any limitations we have about our own capacity for feeling things: if we could touch things and make them happen, we probably would (or at least wouldn’t have so many limitations). It would be nice if we could make everything last forever and even if we didn’t make them last forever, we might just feel a good feeling about them being there for us sometimes.
Perhaps a better word for these feelings might actually be “primal urges”: our urges aren’t fully formed yet, and that’s ok: they will develop more toward maturity. These are primal urges that are going to guide us in our lives (and maybe even shape them). Once they’re gone — or at least somewhat diminished — they’re gone forever; so as long as we don’t lose them completely or ignore them entirely they’re ok (as long as they aren’t so powerful that they overpower us; see “How do I stop myself from over-using “feelings”” below).
There is nothing wrong with these feelings themselves: they are often very important parts of life that guide us well enough (as long as we keep them under control). But how do those feelings develop? Well those too are marked by primal urges; there’s a good chance that at least one type of urge is going to get stronger over time (see “How does my product help me? And why do I need more than one answer?”) So figuring out how to keep those strong urges from dominating our lives (which is what happens when someone says “I want to feel awesome”) is critical for making our lives truly awesome.