On Anonymity

Call me J.


I must’ve read this post 100 times before hitting ‘publish’. Since the inception of this blog, I’ve always kept myself anonymous. Why? Well, at first I felt like I could be more honest with my thoughts and opinions, plain and simple. I was also busy in university at the time and had no idea how consistent I was really going to be with blogging. Did I really want to put myself out there and then half-ass things?

When I started my blog, at first it was a complete secret. I just didn’t feel the need to tell anyone, and I didn’t think my photos were good enough to tell anyone. When I started seeing more growth, I started to open up more to my close friends. I kept telling myself “when I get this many followers I’ll stop being anonymous”, or “my Instagram isn’t cohesive enough yet, I’ll wait another month”. The thing is, if I kept waiting till I thought it was ‘good enough’, I’d probably be waiting forever.


I’ve loved makeup and beauty for as long as I can remember. Screw the playground- some of my fondest childhood memories were playing in the bathroom with all of my mother’s makeup. She actually was nice and let me do it all the time, or maybe I was just sneaky enough to get away with it. It only went poorly once when I had the brilliant idea of placing artistic lipstick kiss marks all over the counters (about 30 of them), and then locking myself out so I couldn’t clean it up before anyone noticed

In high school, I had an obsession with winged eyeliner and couldn’t leave the house without a cat eye and the Urban Decay Naked Palette on my eyes. All shimmer shades of course. Back then, I had no idea what those boring matte shades were supposed to do. Flash forward and my clubbing days were my time to shine and go all out with glam makeup looks and fake eyelashes. By the time I was in university, it wasn’t just enough to appreciate and use makeup- I wanted to talk about it and write about it, so I started this blog on a whim.


So what’s been holding me back from my coming out party? Friends would tell me I should just come out of the closet, that I had nothing to hide and everything to gain. I guess I’ve seen some of the ridicule that influencers face when they put themselves out there. The last thing I would want to deal with is someone picking me apart on social media. Yes, I have my own personal account, but exposing myself to thousands of people I don’t know….dear god.

Part of me still questions if my content and blog are good enough. What if my peers pick it apart, or make fun of it? Who cares. What if they think my photos are crappy? I probably think they are too! The best thing about blogging is it’s self-taught. To look back on old content and see how much I’ve improved is really rewarding.

F*** IT

My life has gone through a lot of changes this summer, and part of those changes are me deciding I shouldn’t waste time caring what other people think. It’s not like I’m doing anything wrong here, so why should I feel the need to keep my identity a secret? Every single person who I’ve told about my blog has had a positive reaction to it. I just needed to find the confidence in myself to be like, hey whatsup this is what I love to do.

I started thinking about the blogs that I follow and interact with the most, and realized that every single one of those blogs wasn’t anonymous. We all want to feel like we can relate to the people we are following, and that’s why we usually stick with them. I was being my own hypocrite. So there.


If you’ve been following me for a while now, well, nice to meet you! Now you have a face to go along with all of my sassy remarks and never ending opinions. Now that I’m out of the closet, I might even do travel and fashion posts. Crazy times, who knew?



xo J



  1. September 9, 2018 / 2:35 pm

    Fabulous post! Nice to get to know you a bit. πŸ’‹It must feel liberating to finally do. And, good that you are blogging the way you want to, on your schedule. The way it should be. πŸ’•πŸŒΊJen

    • September 9, 2018 / 3:30 pm

      Thank you so much for reading! Your comment means a lot. And yes, it feels great! xo J

  2. September 9, 2018 / 10:08 pm

    It’s nice to finally put a face to your blog!
    I totally understand your hesitation to put your face out there on social media, I’ve tried my very hardest to keep my family & friends from discovering my blog.. I’ve only told a few people. I guess I worry that they’ll judge me for it, I don’t have that many friends who really wear makeup so I don’t know what they’d think.
    I still don’t have my full name on here, Leia is my middle name so I combined it with the C from my first name to create a blogger name. It sounds silly to me now but I’m sticking with it!
    Anyways, I’m happy you’ve decided to share more about yourself with us!

    • September 10, 2018 / 1:13 pm

      Thank you for reading! πŸ™‚ I don’t think you should keep it a secret! But I can understand the feeling of being judged. Some of my friends have been critical of how much all this makeup costs, but I’m actively photographing it, using it and sharing my thoughts with the world. And it’s something I love. I always assumed Cleia was your first name! That’s so interesting. Yes, can’t wait for whats to come πŸ™‚ xoxo

Thoughts on this post? Leave a comment my loves!


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